I wasn’t born this way

When my son was born, I was overwhelmed and under prepared for the pressure of being a parent. I made a sound decision: to do nothing but my best for that moment and learn as I went along. Isn’t this what we all do? I originally planned on going back to work after a semester off from teaching. One semester became one year, which became the foreseeable future. I had planned on going back to teach other people’s children, as I put my own child into someone else’s care for education. The pressure to educate my own child is much more intense than when I am doing my job in the classroom. I was looking forward to going back to work and not feeling as if my child’s education depended solely on me. As a parent we feel that we must be infallible, there is no room for error. As we all know, we make mistakes all the time. I have decided to pursue the life of a stay at home parent and deal with the pressures that this brings.

I didn’t originally set up my house for a Montessori environment. It was after a year of watching my son learn about this world he lives in did I see how powerful Montessori is not just for the classroom, but for the home as well. It just made sense (to me). My parenting style is what feels natural to me. I didn’t decide to become the poster parent for attachment theory. I don’t walk around screaming about the benefits of co-sleeping and that we should ignore medical professionals’ advice. I just did what felt natural and right for my family.

The set-up of my house feels natural for not just my son, but our entire family. Allowing him to create his own independence gives me and his father more independence as well (something I crave after a year of intense attachment parenting). Oh, and also we are incredibly cheap. So while I will spend 10 years in an institution of higher learning instead of having a stable income, I will not buy something if I can find it at a thrift store or on craigslist. While I haven’t gone back to my dumpster diving college days, living modestly is a goal (although you wouldn’t say I was a minimalist if you saw my closets that are stuffed from floor to ceiling).

So you do you reader. I am doing me. I am full of Pinterest fails, messy endeavors, and chaos searching for serenity.

2 thoughts on “I wasn’t born this way

  1. My son is 6 months old, and we have been working on implementing Montessori at home. It has been tough, I have struggled to impose some kind of organization onto our small apartment for a long time before we had a baby – and now it is suddenly more important and much more difficult! I feel a lot of stress over it actually, due to the emphasis Montessori places on providing an ordered environment for an absorbent mind.
    I’m glad to hear your set up is feeling natural for both your family! How long did it take for you to feel like you had a functioning, stable Montessori system in place?

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    1. Caring is the first step and then setting intention- sounds like you are doing a great job with both! I still feel like I have a lot of work in preparing my home environment. Making this blog is one way I am working to keep myself organized and accountable. I wasn’t raised with organization and it is unnervingly unnatural to me. One thing that keeps me sane is realizing that it is never too late to change- whether it’s me changing at 32 or my baby at 14 months. When I feel like I have it all under control I will let you know- but it may be awhile 🙂

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